I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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