So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
