the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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