New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
