your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
