i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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