You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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