You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
