Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
