Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
