I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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