I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
