Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
this is an emotional support booty call
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
