he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
