Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
