Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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