just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
