you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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