I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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