Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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