quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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