I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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