you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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