i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I need to sanitize my soul.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
