i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize