never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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