some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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