have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
