I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
