you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize