i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You ruined the universe
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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