You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
