btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
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I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
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I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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