So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize