I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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