dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
