You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize