is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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