i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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