I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
