The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
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I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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