and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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