just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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