Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
