i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
