I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
