Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
