woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
