he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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