i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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