i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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