I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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