wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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