I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
