Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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