I want to make a zoo with you.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize