i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
