1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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