My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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