Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
