found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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