Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
