I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
