I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
