Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
