her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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