Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
