I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
