I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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