if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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